Colin and I had spoken about looking into becoming Foster Parents back in 2011, however after talking with a local Social Worker at the time she advised us to consider waiting a little bit longer as our girls were still so young. Looking back now this was great advice for us with such a young family and being new to fostering.
As time went by, our girls got older and were both now in school. One evening during dinner Colin asked how I would feel about maybe looking into fostering again. He said that as he was driving home he heard an advert on the local radio station about a company called By the Bridge. The advert was saying that they need more foster families to join their team and it got him thinking about the thought us fostering again. I agreed that now seemed like a good time to start looking into it again and suggested that we contact the company and see how we find it.
After contacting By the Bridge and speaking to a very friendly lady on the phone they explained that they would arrange for someone to come and visit us to explain more about them as a company and answer any questions we may have. Within a few days we had a lovely lady called Katie sitting on our sofa, telling us all about what it would be like to foster for By the Bridge. What we didn’t know at the time was that Katie was a Foster Parent for By the Bridge - we had assumed she was a Social Worker. She told us she had been with the organisation since 2012 and had been asked to meet with families who were considering joining the team.
Katie was so lovely and down to earth. She told us all about her journey so far with the ups and the downs. She answered all of our questions as best as she could making us feel at ease about what to expect. What Katie and I did not know is that 7 years later we would have become such great friends that have had family days out, Friday night dinners and even girlie holidays together.
After Katie’s visit we knew we wanted to continue the fostering journey and felt sure that By the Bridge would be the right organisation to continue with. We especially liked their therapeutic values which we felt attuned with.
Our next step was to attend an information evening which gave use even more information on what to expect and also what would be expected of us. Again, we met some lovely people, some that we have continued to work alongside to this very day. From that information evening we then went on to start some of the mandatory training with By the Bridge and again, met some lovely families that we are still friends with. We also met and started work with our independent Social Worker. She was lovely, very down to earth and made us feel at ease. She dug very deep into us as a family, a couple, as parent’s and just as ourselves individually.
By the end of the assessment we felt that we had spent time in therapy for the first time ever and actually really enjoyed it. Panel day came and as nervous as we were everyone made us feel at ease and welcomed us with smiles as soon as we entered the room.
Colin and I passed panel on the 11th of December 2013. That afternoon we decided we would go out for a celebratory family dinner. Our two little girls were so excited at the thought of sharing their home with other children and happy to share their Mum and Dad. The girls were at the age where they understood what a fostering family meant to a degree. They were excited about the thought of everything the adventure may entail but of course we did explain to them that if at any time fostering was getting too much or they were not happy with anything, that as a family we would always talk about things and make sure everyone was happy and okay with what was going on.
In February 2014 we had our first placement of two young boys who were just lovely. The boys were only with us for a week but it was lovely having them with us. They seemed happy, very polite boys who got on very well together and settled well with us while they were here. The boys were from a Muslim community giving us lots to learn about with regards to their religion and culture, for example, food and how it has to be prepped and cooked and of course prayer times. It was very interesting to us and important for us to learn about the difference in our families and their cultures.
We then went on to having our first teenager in the house. This was something very new to us as our girls were still quite young. However, it was lovely having her with us. We did have a few up’s and down’s but mainly a positive time together. Our girls got on very well with her and she was so lovely with them you could tell she was an older sibling. After a couple of months she was ready to go home and be with her family. We stayed in contact for a while and it was lovely to know how she was getting on.
We then went on to having another sibling group of three young children this time and again they were only with us for six days. I won’t lie, they were a very long, challenging six days. I myself learned a lot in those days - the different needs of the children, the difference in behaviours and also the way some of the challenges affected my own two girls. However it did not put us off, if anything it made us want to help more.
Then in August 2013 we had an emergency referral to have three siblings. I was slightly nervous at the thought of having another three siblings but the thought of having them knowing we had the space for them was something we couldn’t not do. The three children arrived around 8pm. The eldest girl was 14 and it was her 15th birthday in a couple of days. Then there was a 13 year old boy and a 2 year old boy. Unfortunately, we didn’t know too much about them as the placement happened so quickly.
We had shown the children their rooms and they seemed happy with everything. They had clearly had a very tough emotional day with everything happening so fast. Myself and the eldest sister put the youngest of the brothers to bed. I was amazed at how well he settled and went straight to sleep with ease sleeping the whole night through.
Colin and I had a cup of tea with the two older children and sat and talked with them for an hour trying to make them feel as comfortable as possible. We were told that the children were only meant to be with us for roughly two weeks. However we are now in our eighth year as a family still together. The eldest two siblings stayed with us till they were of age to leave home, but we try to stay in contact as much as we all can. The eldest sibling has moved to New Zealand and she is doing very well. We video chat and message as much as we can. The middle sibling lives not far from us with his girlfriend and stays in contact with us coming home for dinners when he wants. The youngest sibling is coming up to his 9th birthday in a few months and he is doing so well.
We have a very positive relationship with the children’s family. We are very much a blended happy family with everyone’s best interests at heart especially the children/young adults.
Who knows what our next fostering adventure will be but we continue to love what we do every day with fantastic help and support from all the By the Bridge family especially our lovely Supervising Social Worker Sue. She is always so supportive and at the end of the phone or an email away if needed.
Not only do we have great support from By the Bridge if needed but we are so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends that are always there for us no matter what and have been a massive part of our fostering story and continue to be.
Could you become a Foster Parent and change a young person's life? Get in Touch with By the Bridge today!